Mindy: As a fabulous woman, I pride myself on being a good listener. I do my best to be unbiased when I hear opinions that differ from mine.
Many women struggle to hear conflicting views. They need to realize that differing opinions can be opportunities, not blockades to learning. When we take a stance and are unwilling to hear the counter argument, we miss out on much of what the world is trying to teach us. Good listening is a skill that requires practice.
In an interview on NPR, Anand Girdharadas (New York Times columnist and author) said Americans may be concerned about India and China as economic threats, but we should be more concerned that these countries “pose a challenge of culture and spirit.” He said Americans pull each other down, while China and India are developing cultures of hope and creation.
What can we learn from this? We learn that we need to find a way to build each other up and be supportive. As friends, significant others, family members and co-workers, we need to recognize that our ideas aren’t the only (or even the best) ones that could work in any given situation.
Many clients come in angry because they assume everyone around them has negative thoughts. When we make assumptions about what others think, we become defensive and guarded. We then close ourselves off from communicating, learning and building healthy relationships.
Do you or someone you’re close to struggle with hearing both sides of dialogue? Do you often feel that you’re right and everyone else is wrong? How do you handle these situations?
Finding common ground and being nicer to each other is what’s important. In doing so, we open ourselves up to hearing others; we see possibilities for changing our attitudes. And then we’ll be more fabulous.
I like this; however, can you provide exercises on how to listen better? HOW can we discipline ourselves? It's like being on a diet and then after you've had the cookie do you realize you should have had a piece of fruit instead?
ReplyDeleteI recommend a daily practice of meditation. It is by taking the time daily to focus on your breathing that we begin the practice of becoming present.
ReplyDeleteFrom there, I make an effort to listen to what the person in front of me is saying. Awareness is the key to all change. If I find myself getting too far ahead of the conversation, I say to myself, slow down, listen.
It takes practice. Keep at it. And thanks for the question.